Monday, June 14, 2004

ignorance is strength, war is peace, freedom is slavery... i love crimethink

been doin nuthin really... itz weird... i kinda stopped thinking abt her, well, kind of, but the movies i watch keeps reminding me of her.. the first, half-past dead has tis char which kept sayin tis catchphrase which she also keep saying... den there was bend it like beckham... she plays soccer too... so, as i ogled at jules, i think of her... i mean, i did haf a crush on jules when the movie was shown here in s'pore, which is like god knows when...

the book tat i had warned abt reading the tarot for myself... but i can't help myself... who else is there to read for? i mean i understand la.. tat we might be biased and all.. but i was bored... so i did one more reading... the one thing tat struck me was tat tis time, the astrological sign is a fire... and she is a fire sign... i begin to wonder... did i really let go of dils even when i shld have tried to do something? becos she was a water sign and the cards showed a water card when the qsn of wat astrological sign wld she be was asked... and now, itz fire... dam... so confused, so confused... though not really confused la... but i guess i still wld want to wait it out... see what happens... arrghhhh... why can i jus fall for someone without much complications? i mean if u girls think basically guys like to chase, i guess i'm jus not like them... i hate to chase girls... and really, i dunno, i hate the chase... maybe cos i'm a lot inactive recently... not really lately, but since time began.... and i dun really like talking on the phone... i dunno, itz just tat i grew up talking to whoever is near to me and not keeping phone as a means to talk to somebody... as my 3 best friends wld know since primary school... hell, i never really called just to chat... mostly itz to either meet up or somethin cropped out...

so if ezaida(though she's not the gal i'm talkin about above) or any of her friends ever read this, i'm sorry i never really called or asked u ur number when we met at the children's camp and even after the 3 straight days tat we met, during children camp, the guides camp and when the guides camp ended... i dunno, i jus didn't tot we needed to call each other... though some where in between the hols, i was like, shit, can't meet up with her... i guess she was the first girl who i liked and whom i have a feeling likes me too... but when school opens, she gave me the coldest shoulder i ever felt... at tat time i wondered wat the hell happened... i came to the conclusion tat she felt as if i played with her heart... and well, i now just look back to reminisce of all that i did(more of what i didn't do)...

and now tat ezaida came to my mind, i jus realised tat the gal i like now kinda haf the same face shape as her... though i believe itz jus a coincidence... ooo... i got a msg.. haha... itz dam sad i know but no one msges me at tis time anyway... itz her, itz her!!! haiz... i'm jus so easily excited... though i dun show it, trust me, i'm easily excited... haha... i mean, she doesn't really sms me usually anyway... so yea... kinda like a treat... haha... sad i know...

really, i'm jus bored to death... wanted to go to the beach again, but itz kinda gettin late... itz like 6.20pm now... by the time i reach ere, it'll be like wat, 6.45? so i guess i'm jus stayin at home... haiz...

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