Friday, June 29, 2007

here's to june's adventures

i'll try to randomly sum up the mth of june's happenings..

then ere's the endless marching parades tt we're involved in.. so tats every sat burnt for NDP, den ere's the 50th anniversary to do.. we completed the CO's parade, den ere's the SAF day which thankfully i never got to do.. den ere's gonna be our ORD parade.. haiyo, so much parades..

and as usual, the shit flows from top to bottom.. so us, wearin the rank which collects shit.. and i mean, literally.. our rank is V-shaped.. and mind u, 3 of them to support the amt tat we haf to take.. so the concaved part allows us to collect it on our arms.. so the big big turtle nags at our old bird, den the old bird nags at our time bomb and our time bomb explodes near to a toilet which is choked wif crap, and tat is how we get to collect the shit job and share them to our guys.. so well done.. if tis is how the real world is gonna work, den i guess i'm ready to face the crap out there.. and as my beloved OC told me.. if u can get by this 2 years, i'm sure u're ready for anything the world throws at ya.. and ouh yea, another thing which moved me.. nay, moved me to tears.. i mean, goddammit.. i was actually on the verge of cryin..

"i know you all come from different backgrounds, some of you happy families, some sad families ... but i want you to make your OWN HAPPY family."

todae i tink my encik learnt and applied a lesson on bringin down ur level to see wat ur subordinates see.. and i tink he actually enjoys it.. u noe how ironic it is when u're a commander? u tell everyone not to do this and that, dun do this and that.. but deep down, u noe tat not doin tis and tat, u can actually get to live longer, acquire immunity from bein the scapegoat and gettin shit drizzled on ur face. cos the more u do, the deeper u dig ur grave. make no mistake and u get the honour of diggin ur grave at another spot and ppl tink u're a good grave digger.. do it badly and they'll jus bury u in it and u haf to dig ur own self out of the grave u jus digged.

and itz the best job u can find.. u gain immunity from bein fired..i mean, which job offers such great benefits?? u cant resign, u cant quit, u cant get fired, u jus go on till u're let out.. so the more u do or the lesser u do, u still get the same dam matter how badly u perform or how well u perform, it jus reflects on urself.. and how do u motivate urself if u do menial jobs or jobs u dun even like and no compensation to make u actually do it.

here's a dazzling example:
A does nuthing at all, is always on medical shield, manages to intimidate the boss, is never around, skips almost every responsibilities, skive thru almost everything and nothing happens to him and he gets paid $X.

B does all the admin work for him, has a broken medical shield which he jus throws away anyways, is always around, gets picked for every mistakes he does, has to work doubly harder to cover for A, takes every responsibilities upon himself and has to answer for everything and he gets paid $X.

so u can call me shallow, but wat are his motivation? i really dun know except tat it comes from deep within.. but as for me, i'm only human.. i can be superman for a few days, den i accidentally get stabbed by kryptonite and i fall. so, wats the point of takin responsibilities if u get paid the same. u slack or u on, u get the same thing..

i tink i haf become a pessimist.. i haf become bitter, i became more selfish, i became more guarded, i became street smarter, i'm always ready with a reason for doin something so tat i wont get into trouble, i learn to be on at times and to switch off, i learnt tat u cant save everybody, i learnt to appreciate true friendship, i learnt not to be too eager to please when u're new, i learnt tat the ones who dun disturb u when u first come in are usually the most reliable and stable in the place, i learnt to separate social and professional duties.. and those who enter at the same time as u are usually the most trustworthy ones.. the older ones are jus ready to take advantage of you.. i learnt tat i haf been lucky, i dun haf to sleep in the same bunk as backstabbers, sly foxes, friendless ppl who haf been outcasted for their actions towards their friends. i'm thankful tat i sleep wif one who thinks of others before self, who will ask no questions to help you, who thinks for the others, who are fun, funny pranksters, who showed be tat no matter the differences, u can jus make fun of them and they will change a bit, who leads me to new explorations of new experiences, who are constantly evolvin to become better, who is not above the basic responsibilities..
this, i thank u fish, guan and jobi.. i'm grateful to the wonderful mix of regulars and NSF of my bunk.. for they are not regulars or NSF but fish, guan and jobi.. a team which helps each other in different aspects.. me the admin guy and alarm clock, hobi the other admin guy and willingly joins in the admin, fish the everything else tat i cannot do and guan the prankster and all time tink for others before thyself.. they dun exactly show it in major ways, but minute and small ways.. ok, enuf b4 i get all mushy again..

been runnin at east coast.. okie, so itz forced, but we enjoyed the fresher view of sand, sea and other such views u can find on the beach. and i hate anchor points tat brings me back bitter sweet memories.. itz sweet but now it leaves a bad tinge everytime i see the specific break water. dun ask me how i remembered the exact one but i tink its the same one. memories of u and me and cockroaches, of unabashed photo takings and of the short time we had.. of the beginning of the end.. ouh well..

can u love sumone for her personalities and inner beauty and then find u cant love her outer beauty? i bet u can, but itz damm harder than u think.. sadly, i'm not too oroud to say this but i am one of those rare ppl who has.. call me shallow, call me whatever, but i jus cldnt bring it up to do it. i wonder how beautiful it wld had been if i wasnt repulsed.. i'm pretty sure it wld haf been a blissful time.. sighs..

and i cld haf accidentally got to know a random stranger on the bus.. but she was like wat, still in sec skol.. sec 1 or 2 and sittin next to razi.. i was like showin sum card tricks la to razi.. den the guy forgot which card he had picked and the gal helpfully blurted the card out.. so okie la.. after the trick, i decided to show her my very own improvised trick.. haha.. itz like a combi of 2 techniques.. dang, if she was older, cld haf tried to talked to her more.. haha.. we got off the bus and we jus smiled and left.. we were bored, and come on, from marine parade to woodlands aint no short bus ride..

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