some days are meant to be meat

if u're wondering what the hell the title means? dun, cos i like unassociated titles.. most of the time... been trying to get the darn links to work... haven't yet... but still trying... haha... still learning crochet... gonna make a shawl or at least a rectangular thingy... itz currently baby blue.. my next one's gonna be pink and i guess i have some one in mind... haiz... if i get that far though, in my crocheting skills... haiz, chatted with izati yesterday... at least she kept me company till monaco and Porto started the game... though i missed 10 minutes of it... still think roma's quite an ass though i dun blame him for any of the goals... just that i never saw him as a good goalie... anyways, i digress... if any of u buggers reding this blog and knows who i lent my solitaire mystery to, pls remind me cos i only haf the darn cover...

letting go of people has always been the hardest part of life... i guess i'm still trying to learn from it. and it is the most painful thing you have to do, but once u get over it, it'll be okie... at least i believe so...

do you believe in dreams? meeting the girl/guy of dreams? well i do... u know the song "I Knew I Loved You before I Met You" by savage garden? well, if u dun, which rock are you livin under??!! anyway, that song has had special meaning to me... and i believe, only some people have had the curse/luck of having it. i guess i'm still trying to find her. and itz no fantasy, it really is a dream... i kinda chased tis gal whom i tot was the gal from my dream, but i guess, at the most crucial part, i.e, when i'm about to ask her out on a real date(been studyin together, more of me giving her tuition) she tells me she's going out with this guy but she dun mind going out. but i told her itz best i dun really go out with her one on one. i'm no fighter... i guess tat's one of the main reasons i'm still weak. i'm more passive... sometimes too passive for my own good... anyway, we only meet for a few times before it came to the point where she was afraid to be seen walking with me... cos he's a alot possesive... so now, i'm kinda letting go also. i guess i let go, jus tat now i haf to let go again to another... i'm speakin in codes i know, but i guess, ppl know who they are...

now i finally gotten over the 'dream girl' only to be visited by the same one i tink... but this time, i remembered the conversation... here's the weird part: this is what the dream was like, or rather how i remembered it...

i was at chinatown after rehearsals, with big, Najib and duck... the only ppl i now remembered in the dream... we were at the chinatown bus stop, one of them la, can't reallly describe it but i can point it out... den i was waiting for the bus and poof..

i was on the train, there was tis guy and gal, sukarman and 'khairiah' or somethin similiar sounding... i was reading a book or somethin, and she sat next to me and sukarman on my left.then we started talking and bla bla bla... the ones i remembered was i asked where she was working, wats her name, and his name = she's working at GV Grand at GWC, though i'm not sure that there is a GV at GWC in the first place, what more GV Grand, which is the only GV Grand... any she's in Drama Plus Arts. den i immediately msg my friend in DPA, but he said ere's no no by tat name... well, actually, i didn't mention his name at the dream conversation... but i did mention another gal and she said she knew her... so yea, i'm askin my friend if i cld haf that other gal's no... he haven't replied me....well, it was only after chattin with izati tat i realised i didnt know if GV GRAND exists or not, tat i shld get the no of the other gal to see if she knows her... so i guess i owe her lots... anyway, when the first dream cropped up, i did a tarot reading, though i'm still a novice... but the one thing tat stuck to my head was the qsn of will i meet or will i be together with this dream gal or was it when will i meet or was it get together with this girl... out of 78 cards, wat was the chance of 19 coming out? 1/78... and guess what, tat came out... and another thing, she is born of the water sign... so itz down to either ascorpio, cancer or pisces... so i'm 19... though itz ticking by, i'm still hopeful... itz the only thing left for mankind. the one great gift for survival... hope, hope for tomorrow, hope for today, hope for the next minute....