i lay honesty on the table
sometimes in life, u begin to give up on some things.. cos you don't see the reward or that you feel as though no one responds to you. and slowly, you begin to qsn whether what you're doin is goin anywhere or not when the response is lukewarm at most.. and yes, now i'm beginning to wonder if she does like me at all or not.. cos sometimes, it aint very positive.. okie la.. it gets to this when u expect certain stuff.. okie, so i sumtimes expected her to ask me back how am i, expect her to ask question abt me sometimes. u noe.. jus to keep conversations last longer.. but sometimes all i get back is a ok. and i sumtimes also dunno wat to talk abt.. like it gets tiring if i keep askin the qsn and she dun seem to bother to do like wise ma.. bit by bit, the likin feelin begins to erode.. jus as a water droplet could erode a solid rock. "like" can only last for a limited time if its not nurtured.. arrghhh... confusion.. i guess i haf fallen into the trap.. sumwhere along the way i tripped and fell.. and now, i find it hard to pick myself up. only the brutal truth can help me along.
patience my dear boy.. patience.. tats what i keep telling myself.. but sometimes, it does wear u thin and you wonder, are u jus wasting your time and effort? is it goin no where.. and tat she doesnt feel the same way at all.. and all the smiles are jus a front? i dun know.. i dun tink it is.. but hey, talk is cheap.. we can flirt and talk and lie all we want, but the truth comes in action. whether we dare to go out for the first time.. i guess tat makes and breaks a lot of things sometimes.. ere i go whining again.. sighs.. bad habit sumtimes jus resurface.. time to surpress it down again..
i guess we'll jus never know till a few weeks later huh.. maybe i shldnt tink so much.. maybe i shld jus go back to my carpe diem moments.. but i guess we grow older and time grows shorter..