do i really want to feel the low so i can feel the high?

Y i dun plan ahead:

haha... one cos i dun really plan... haha... anyways. 2 cos it never work out anyway... and most of the time tat i do plan never really happens... so like yea... wats the point rite? okie, so i'm midway between thinking itz a small matter and itz a big matter... i mean, itz a small matter but it is a huge matter... i mean, considerin i dun plan my days in more than 2 days ahead, i feel sumtimes i'm jus cruising to an iceberg when ever i plan.. itz like, a plan tat actually will make me go sumwhere but it always ends up hitting an ice berg... and i sink... if itz such a small matter why the hell am i so down? cos it is a big matter... i guess, oh well, todae got two kinda of a promise broken... so itz a smile laced wif tears... the first one was by my dad... i mean, itz a small matter... but yea... supposed to jln raya... i mean, itz not a big deal but the broken trust tat he promised but is too tired and never tell me... i mean, ere i was rushing to get back after ma shoot... called them and said they were gonna go out... so okie la i rushed back... den i get home, ma mum tells me he's jus takin a rest... i mean, itz okie la, understandable tat he is fasting... but yea, it like u promise a lil kid he's gonna get a treat and when smiles knowing tat he is gonna get a treat, u decide to turn him down... watever the reason, i feel for the lil kid... i mean, the stuff is not important, but breaking the convenant tat u had is.... so yea, dun make promises which u intend to not really keep or maybe cos u're waitin for sumthin better... or even worst, jus postpone it... i mean, true the reason may be good, it may be bad... but when u make sumone look foward to sumthin and den shootin him down... the world seems to crumble down la for the guy...

so back to the subject y i dun plan ahead when dealin wif ppl... cos most of the time get buih-ed... so like really la... y brace myself for dissapointment?? i mean, most of wat i dun really plan happens... i mean, sure u gotta plan for urself and stuff and when u dun place ur happiness on ppl, itz okie.. but when u do, sumtimes itz jus a trap u make for urself to step into... i'm feelin emo and stuff... but yea, had to let it out if the tears is not to flow... i mean, not tat i want to supress the tears... but yea... i'm jus down... luckily itz at nite alraedy... when i get up, i'll be fine... so tats a plus point... and yea, i was lookin foward to both outing... but oh well... i crashed for both outing... u noe how lil things makes u happier than big things? i guess i'm happy wif big things... but itz the lil things which makes everyday complete... i realised i'm goin thru the random tots tat swirl in my head which might not haf much of a connection...

here's wat i feel like doin... i feel like bein emo and being alone and dun want to talk to others cos i didnt get wat i want... or wat was promised to do... here's wat i'm doin... i'm emo, am alone(has always been as i type these blogs) and talkin to others cos i tell myself to them itz not a big deal... but itz a freaking big deal... y am i makin a big fuss again? cos i feel played out... wat ever the good reasons... well, kids dun listen to reason... and i tink i'm sick of bein an adult...

'i wanna noe if itz nice to be aloneeee, or rather hanging by the phoneeeeee...... i wanna noeeeeee'
-i wanna knoe by Pop Whizzee-
anyways, jus liked their intro... den the rest of the song dun like anymore....