Saturday, November 13, 2004

am i the only one?

arrghhh...

todae went to help julius wif his project... entitled Kiat... anyways, didn't get much done owing to the fact half the time was spent tryin to get the sound out from the file which we cant extract... so den went to al-ameen to buke... but when we reached ere, it was closed... haiz... so went to the next shop wif sri... den went to meet zak, vick and ducky(who was dammm late)... haha.. anyways, we bought ramly burgers, kebab... den met duck at the bridge after meetin wei ming along the way... haha... so there we were, the 5 of us... and duck was darn mean to wei ming... haha... havent seen tat side of her in a long time... i dunno, i tink i've grown more dependant on duck to lament ma life now... haha... i tink we kinda grown closer sum how(at least i haf... used to be able to get by wif duck wifout complaining everything)... haha..ever since the last time... den tried to find sum daun ketupat... well, kinda dissapointed tat i cldn't find it... den me, duck and weiming took a cab home... well, duck put her ice lemon tea at ma bag.. den i forgot abt it and put ma bag sideway as i sat in the cab and there it was... got ma pants wet... i had one of those criss-cross pants... haha... halp one colour, the other another colour... hahahaha... was whiny the whole journey... not cos of the tea, though partly... hahaha...

now at ma home... still wonderin wat duck told me.. haha.. i dunno... i guess itz cos i want to know but dun want to know kinda thingy..... so i'll rather settle on a comfort zone which i dun want to get out... i guess i value friendship and contented tat we're still friends rather than not on speaking terms... i dunno... i'm jus bein pessismistic... bt yea, as much as i love change, most of the time, change never do love me... it always ends stuff... stuff which i am not willing to change... so yea, here i am stagnant... though i may be a bit oxymoronic, tis is the aprt when i'm more than jus a bit oxymoronic... itz a constant struggle of wat i want and wat i tink i really want... but tat wld encompass of wat i dun really want, yet i want it too... haiz.... and yet, i dun want to be the puppet master's strings... yet, i delude myself tat it is really the puppet master's strings and not wat the puppet really wants... god knows wat i'm blabbering abt, but basically, itz abt me... hahahahaha... i noticed i 've written loads of coded entries... and itz jus like in sec 1 where i write coded poetry... haha... missed tat book... god knows where the book is now.. tink itz still wif alfian...

i'm in a turmoil which will clear up tomorrow... but itz always nice to put it into tangible stufff which i can read and see how my mind is rite now... i want but i dun want... basically tats the line drawn... of course, not takin into account external factors... haiz... how can i manage... i haf no tangibles and hardly any intangibles to offer... haiz... words, jus words, which i'm scared to fully exploit till i noe itz gonna be appropriate... but all i noe is tat, it cld haf been appropriate but i jus dun tink so... haiz... haiz... me, me...

ed my bro, how i wish u're here wif us... haha... haiz...

1 Comments:

Blogger kawan_kawan said...

So do I bro, so do I...=)

2:12 AM  

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