so i pretend i'm doing all i can

i haf loads of complain to get off ma chest which i didn't manage to do cos of ma final theory test... hahaha... actually, tat was the root of all ma complains... haha... i was due to take ma test last thurs... which was abt 2/3 days ago?? anyways, so on wednesday nite i had to do a do or die trial test... but tiz the last slot of the day... and itz the new computer system... anyways, feelin cocky as i was, i too the first time and passed... and when i wanted to find out what i did wrong?? the darn computer will not be able to tell u wat the hell u did wrong... so u will be left out in the dark... so yea... it suxs...after that, i took it again and failed and every subsequent times... so i got pissed and tot of beating the system... which encompasses me ending the test when i dun noe any qsn... and jus to see if i actually got it right or not... but it bein a new comp system... it has a quota of how many times u can take the test... arrghhh... so there i was panicking when the instructor tells me tat most likely i cant log in anymore... arrghhh... so yea, oh well... so i headed out of the centre... had to call the only one tat cld save me... well, actually, itz her book... hahaha... =p
haha.. so yea, went to her house and borrowed her book which i helped take notes... but she took back her book after me makin a mess in her book rather than takin notes... so i only haf a few scribbles on her book... haha... anyways, took the basic and theory book from her.. den she told me of an old tale which re-occured in her life... hahahaha... jus as nostradamus or rather me, predicted, it had come true... only maybe the timeframe was a bit longer... mua hahahhahahaha.... i still think itz gonna happen again till u're a bit more firm and drill it into his head... or maybe jus tell him flat... either way, he has know directly... and if it dun work... well, at least u can say tat u already told him straight... haha... anyways, went home to study... fell asleep at abt midnight... haha... oh well... refused to take ma medcine cos scared cannot wake up tomz morning... haha.. so yea, the next day, msg the only one who can keep me sane durin ma driving test and lessons which i'm really scared of... haha... failed the stimulated test like abt 6 times... well, it was only 10 qsn and if u get one wrong, u fail... haha... and the same, no answer... haiz... dat was when ma morale plummented to an all-record low... haha...den went to the place where i was supposed to go to take the test and everyone who went in had a shock of their life... i tink, everyone went in and either went out or had a puzzled look on their face cos there was NO computers... haha... and it was supposed to be a computerized test... so i saw abt 10-15 ppl goin in the class and goin out and coming back again... haha... so anyways, den another dumb thing happened... abt 4 ppl came and got chased out cos they mistook their trial test for the advance test.... another even asked if he cld join the class cos his test is at 10 plus.... hahahaha...
sum comic relief never hurt anyone... ahahhaha... anyways, the tester later told us that the computer is still not yet ready... still sum tweaking to do... boy, was i never thankful later... haha... takin the paper test was so much easier... haha... i only didnt know one qsn... the rest i'm sure i got it right... i'll be damned if i actually failed it... hahahaha... i mean, i did the paper twice... scared tat i might not read correctly... i had to sacrifice speed for attention... hopefully it pays off... anyways, i was grinng all the way... hahahaha... den went to skol for ma sign language instructor course which i was helpin out wif... quite fun la... esp wif cramp and CL... haha.. oopz... anyways, had fun wif the students... disturbing each other.. ma 2 most boisterous(in a good way) students from the class that me and jiating taught was in the course also... so there we were, me, keith and avbrile(i tink tats how u spell it cos i never knew how to spell his name) were insulting each other wif signs we jus learnt....

friday, 19.11.04
went to the last day of instructor course in the morn... den went to ma recording at abt 2om... took photos for the last day of the course... den went for recording... had fun la everywhere... but i was pushed to ma limits in the recordings... where everything wasn't really ready after 2 hours of preparation(i tink itz 2 hours but i tik itz less la) by the rest.. aiyo... so yea, spent more time gettin everything back up... i feel as if i'm too controlling of the project... at least practically wise... but itz hard la to depend on ma grp mate... well, i understand sri's position la... hee... but yea, i try my best to not make the other guy do menial stuff... but sumtimes, itz hard la to let another wonder and let him learn while ere's ppl waiting for us to get ready... like the talents... i mean, i noe la they are patient and all... but yea, i guess itz jus ma work ethics... haha... i mean, among ma peers, i dun mind workin slowly... but wif other ppl ard, i move a lil faster, ma brains work faster...esp when i 'm expected to solve wat ever problems that comes... i dunno, sumtimes i feel like jus lettin him take charge but i cant afford it... i mean, i gif small stuff and still am not satisfied wif wat was done... haiz... i ask to check the board to see if no buttons is pressed... he tells me yea.. none is pressed... an hour later,sri tells me ere's leakage... and wham... the dam button is pressed when i told him to make sure no buttons is pressed... i mean, tis is jus pressing buttons le... wat more not harder stuff????!!!! so dunno la... god knows wat will haf happened if sri wasn't in ma grp like we first planned... i wld haf jus screamed ma head off and bein really pissed.. and i'm not pissed easily... haha... i tink ma poly fwens haf hardly seen me pissed off.. except maybe ying lin and kalif and sri... hahaha.. the 3 ppl i worked wif the whole year in year 1, 2 and 3 respectively... haha... mostly i show them the silent pissed version... where u can see in ma eyes and face tat i'm totally pissed but i dun say a word... haha... i noe wif khalif, itz not the silent type cos he jus cant make me shut up... haha... we bitch like no ppl's business... anyways, so yea.. i'm jus thankful tat sri's in ma grp... wat wld i haf done wif out u?? haha... in more ways than jus in the studio... *winks* i'm not goin into a testimonial abt her... haha... which reminds me sum still owes me a testimonial... after i wrote one usin her computer... *hint*hint*

anyways... i listened to the song 'why' by 98 degress and wondered abt loads of stuff... i guess it speaks rite thru ma heart... "tell me y everytime i find suome one that i like, we always end up just being friends?" and almost every line la... haha... i guess the whole song wld summarise ma whole love life... well, jus the basic structure... hahaha... so yea...

watched the S'pore idol and well, i must say, itz gettin quite bad la... i mean, taufik is quite good la... haha.. but seein yesterday's song, i tot he was really bad too... den todae, hearing him sing that song, he was quite entertaining la... i guess he cant sing heart broken song and sad ones... but upbeat ones, he has a nice voice for it... still though that out of the 3(i said only 3 cos i believe ere are other more worthy ones), olinda shld haf gotten in... haiz... itz a popularity contest anyway... rather than a singing contest.. so i tink itz quite a shame that the ones who can sing isn't really popular... haha... maybe, itz jus tat they aren't tat pretty or handsome or whatever... oh well... listening to gabrielle's out of reach now... haiz... i'm back to ma semi melancholy state again... haiz... i guess another maybe true to ma heart song... sorrie to let u ppl hear ma rantings abt he heart... but yea, havent told ma shrink(e.g ed and duck) abt the current state... haha... oh well, duck, hope u're abt ready to move...or was it jus renovating?? haha.. oopz...

on a different note, i'm wonderin if i shld ask?? am i ready to know? am i ready for a change or will i stay risk free and stay stagnant?? haiz... *ponders for a while*