keep it real, the truth hurts, live with it

on sunday, i was reminded wat i wanted to forget all this while after i finished school and no more IS classes... it was the same feeling... it sucked, but hey, itz abt the same... maybe i shld jus stop doin it... but i shall believe in self fulfilling prophecy and say it was fated, tat it was fated i'm stuck in tat cycle... but really, cant help it... it was almost an exact replica of the third week of skol... i cant stop laughing and then, there... i feel totally out of place... maybe it was the rain, but really it wasnt... didnt want to tell ya at then, tellin ya now... i still feel weird meetin sumone when she's gonna meet sumone else later... itz the same wif ducky & nas, liza & him(i forgot his name) and now u... i dunno... itz jus a weird feelin... makes me feel bad...

okie, so here's another point...tis is another story...

i dunno, but i guess the truth will HURT... yes, it will hurt... we want to open up as a society, we gotta learn to laugh at ourselves... dun take everything too seriously... there's a time to be laughing and a time to be serious... and a time where u want to be serious but u gotta laugh cos what they did contained no malicious... they dun intend to hurt you... they jus lookin for a cheap joint of blunt... so i'm sorry if u are hurt by it... i got hurt and extorted by their quest... but i jus laugh... wats the point... they dun mean to hurt me or my feelings... do you really think they were out to hurt you in the first place...

here's a story i heard... it was a stand up comedian...
here's my version, since i forgot most of it...

you guys ever seen these white guys who vandalise their wasted friends?? and they wake up the next day laughing or beating the shite of of their fwens, methaphorically speaking... well, you try that shite on a black dude and he will kill you... man, you dun do tat to ur dawg man... when a black man sleeps near you, it means he trust you... and u break that trust, u're a dead man... i guess we can split the human race into these two categories...(personally i tink 3)... the serious guys who wont see anythin funny, and the guys who laughs...( i tink the 3rd grp wld be the dun gif a shite grp... they are always the coolest... haha... )

so, i'm kinda pissed off...as always...as mathi said, my blog sound angsty... i guess when i'm pissed, that when i wanna write... and every other strong emotions... so yea... i'm pissed when i can try to see things their way, wifout being a 'stereotyped' singaporean, but other ppl cant see it and glorify this stereotype... go figure what the stereotypes are in the first place... and itz not kiasu-ism... (tats the other things which pisses me off too though, esp when the elderly practices it... sure, there are always sum gems, but most are jus unappreciative-esp the pushy types) i can gif their defence, but i shalln't cos i'm feelin unreasonable and intolerant RITE NOW... yes, only NOW... NOT later... to my friends whom i have talked to before... i'm not talkin abt you... i'm talkin to those who i havent talked to and still feeling what i jus wrote... cos yea, i'm talkin atb you...

back to the part jus before kiasuism... so yea... i'm only complyin because i'm a team player and dun want my neighbourhood to get into trouble... if they didnt tell me anythin, i dun gif a shite what you think of me cos it doesnt mean anything... it wont affect me, i dun thin i'll ever see you anymore at all... but, i will see these ppl i'm complyin wif... and they matter more than your petty opinions... and go ahead wif a war of words... u can write bad stuff abt me... sure, i'll get pissed off if it aint true, but hey, i wrote my blog as a chronicler... i jus record them as i see it... i dun go personal... unless itz my feelings... so i dun wack u unless u did it... but does intention counts?

lets say u didnt break a law... lets a collective goes out to help the elderly... does the diff intentions to help, whether good or jus to feel good matter? wat if u didnt want to help, but it helps u feel better, so u do it... does it really matter? and if u are mean to a person, does the intention to be mean or jus accidentally mean really matter? well, i guess we shld not over exagerrate anythin.. cos it will haunt you when u jsu meant a small thing... like if i said, i wanna make sure u die, i really meant i wanna get u back... but wat i said abt u cld be used against me, if u are threatened... so, another lesson learnt... if i want you to be hurt real bad, i'll jus say i hope ur life will be great... can u sue for written sarcasm?( i guess tats called false innuendo) i can defend on basis on zen and general well bein and karma... and i really hope u haf a nice life even if u've been an asshole(or shld i say a nice person) to me... or i cld jus defend on the basis that u do not fulfill the 3 criterias for defamation... haha, jus tryin to apply wat i learnt in skol...

so to whoever i'm writin to, itz for you, cos i really dun know who i'm writin to... but u're out there... sumwhere in the world... and itz for you... cos u're such a petty person... crying over spilled milk cos ur sibling spilled it... i dun hear my brother cryin out tat i've been bullyin him(okie so he did, but wats the point, ur parents gonna scold ya, den u continue doin it)... but think abt the consequences... before u start doing anything... wld u enjoy depriving ur brother of another opportunity to participate in any other family activities? think things through before you act. i'm not that affected, but i think for others... have you.. i may haf hurt you personally, but i didnt hurt ur reputation... and think abt it, i guess u jus never been to much social gatherings... wat are those wifout laughter? even if u're the butt? u can look back and have stories to tell... i haf... u have... but are u proud to have them? den i guess u're not comfortable with ppl and opening up... and then i'm sad for you... i am sumtimes guilty and i'm sad for MYSELF too sumtimes...

but i live on... i get make fun of, i'm pisssed... i'm always pissed when i'm the butt of a joke... but hey, i laugh on... and well, itz always funny later on...

well, hey, if i wasnt the cause of your dissatisfaction, den hey... at least i learnt sumthin abt myself... haha...

ere, i dun feel so pissed off alraedy... i tink i'll just put back my pacifier since it didnt work when i was pissed off...