Sunday, December 19, 2004

i'm am officially depressed today

did nuthin on friday... well, except got to know tis gal named li___ sumthin... haha... was always smokin wif the others at SIM(names shall now be revealed to protect the guilty parties)... so yea, den went wif taufik(q) to the mosque and went home... haiz... eh, wait, i borrowed sum dvds at the library @esplanade... yea... den went home... watched shallow hal...

sat, went for the RP gig... took loads of photos as usual... well, at least sophia(i tink tats her name,and syed kinda remembered me... she looks dammm thin now...) at least compared to when i last saw her perform at RP for basic theory... den caught sum new bands... okie la...awie den kinda recognised me but didnt remember where he met me... it was at oniatta's weddin anyways... den he asked if i cld do a photo shoot for their band...(i forgot whether it was for bhumis or Rafe)... quite a big thingy le if i do... anyways, crowd was okie... the best part was when KOK performed... i tink i took my best photos ere... met a few more ppl ere... lin(i tink tats how u spell it), hadiara(it sounded like hambriala or sumthin, den got ida, met sufrin again)... crowd was ok ok la... sound guy was dam bad until sum other student came and solved the feedback problem... but god dammit!!! the feedback was killing people and they dunno wat to do abt it... and i mean, god dammit... dun leave ppl who dunno wat to do alone... the gal was quite worried since she was the only one at the board and didnt noe wat to do when tis other chinese guy left for a while... i dunno y but i tend to leave these things alone when i dun noe them.. selfish i noe, esp when i see they dun even use the freakin EQ... or at least the graphic EQ... i mean, like, use the freakin graphic EQ for god sake... god dammit... and always be on the board if feedback always occur... and dun put the bloody speaker jus behind the bloody mic... god dammit... of course there's gonna be feedback... haiz...i got to gif it, the bass sounded quite rounded for a speaker wifout subs... and tissue works wonders if u dun have ear plugs... i tink it reduces abt 12dB or sumthin?? jus an estimation... cld be abt 6 only... but the point is tat it works...

den todae went to shoot the rest of the DYL team... celebrated Jacq's bdae after that... it was kinda a simple affair except for the candles which kept bein blown out by the gust of wind and us tryin to form the word 'jacq'... rode on the train and felt depressed... i noe itz a lot of factors but my bloody bro can guess the amin reason... a few others are seein ben, ave, jacq, ifte, lin, viv... (i mean, u guys dun make me depressed la... jus tat seein u kinda makes me depressed.. am i makin sense? no, i guess not... i mean, i like u ppl... itz nuthin abt u guys but itz sumthin abt u guys tat made it worst these month... esp tis month...) itz jus tat seein u ppl brings out an jung or was it freudian term(i forgot wat itz called... but sumthin got to do wif image... and bringing another image)

wrote a prose on the train... it started off as a poem and i got emo and lost my composure for poetry and rhyming verse

The sun still rise in the east
and it still sets in the west
But why is it colder when there's a breeze
And i feel the sun's warmth much less?
I tried to keep the sense of wonder
Seeing each day as a 1st time experience
But i can't see that wonder no more
I don't know how or what to feel
one day you are warm
the rest of the week you're cold
your smile warms hearts, at least my heart
But when i'm not with you, you're frozen to me
you leave me low to find my own
A way of getting up to start walking on my own
I won't pretend i feel nothing for you
And i wonder if it's because of your ex
You leave me high one day & rock bottom the next
I begin to question if i can handle
all the fluctuations that the past month brought
if i could still see that smile twice each week
and not feel anything at all for the rest of the week


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