Monday, April 23, 2007

asphalt and rubber

todae i experienced the joy of mixing rubber with asphalt.. okie, so now the roads are not made wif tat much asphalt, but still.. after a few days of refraining from sittin on my bike, after i cleaned it up.. sheesh.. leave it in the multi story carpark for jus one month and guess wat, spiders started making itself at home.. and i was like, dang, how come so many cobwebs all around.. sighs.. haha.. well, i took like half a day cleanin the dan thing up.. but ouh well, the darn spark plug was bein a bitch.. at least, it didnt died on the expressway.. lucky jus abt to leave the petrol station.. so made a quick pit stop and off to the.. erm, okie, wats the like a bridge near the seletar airbase again? well, yea, there.. i dunno, been my recluse.. it was ere when i spent my last day of army virginity, it was there when i felt like ridin but had no where to go and it was there tat i jus spent like half an hour, jus to stare at nothing and no tots ran through my head.. hey, for sumone who thinks too much for his own good, it was an almost surreal feeling.. so i jus stared blankly at the waters, its rippples jus have this weird soothing sense about it.. okie, so i seem to love to be besides water.. but ouh well, and den the rode back was a lil weird.. i sped like i have never done before.. okie, maybe i haf gone faster than jus now la, but todae, it was running like, to put it as i love to say, in full syncro.. itz like when the noise the darn bikes make becomes soothin, almost smooth.. and my mirror dun do any 360 spin anymore.. where the road becomes a bit blurry, but u noe itz still there.. for some weird reason, it felt really good.. jus the tyres and road and friction keeping me alive and i depended on nothing else.. well, cept myself la..

drivin has never made me feel tis way.. maybe cos like drivin was much more soothing than ridin i guess.. when i drive, esp when it was a trip to no where, there's a calm serenity about it.. i can go auto and drive.. but for a bike, u cant really go auto.. u haf to become one.. okie, tis is quite crappy la, but random tots running thru my head.. feelin elated a bit.. i mean, never expected it but itz a nice surprise to get a message, no matter how impersonal it was.. and my glove is tearin apart.. haha, minus the fact of my nails.. which reminds me.. i shld cut them a bit.. okie, maybe itz vanity or practical reasons but i seem to not like to cut my nails.. so i haf girly nails, but hey, ey're healthy wifout manicures.. haha.. though.. hmmm.. nahhhh.. nvm.. okie, i haf always had tis urge to go for one.. but u noe, no reason yet to go.. and the army is evil to anything beautiful.. even if i did go, it wld be ruined.. hmm.. wait a min, now i'm talkin like a gal.. time to go cut my nails..

den finally gave fana her pooh which was like wayyyy overdued.. haha.. hope the wait was worth it.. hey, i did win it but tis shootin game which i became addicted to in taiwan.. itz the airgun and u shoot the balloons to win.. only tried the handguns one.. okie, so i always had a fascination wif hand guns.. esp the, okie, dunno wat itz called but itz the black one, semi auto, and like when u shoot, the round comes out and the bolt goes back.. hmmm, sounds like all the other hand guns huh? well, here's to more random tots.. and i tink i'm gettin the thrill of writing again.. hmmm, the exponential factors.. less time in camp, more ideas flow.. i guess it is true that the helmet makes u dumber than usual.. ouh well, maybe jus less opportunity to write i guess..

met up wif shaq, fana, izad and nordin(is tat how u spell ur name?).. itz been a while really.. jus lepak bawa block.. i guess if i never moved, i wld haf been lepakin wif em ever since 6 mth ago la.. but ouh well, and itz like wat?10 mths already in my last camp? how time flies.. i vaguely remembered the first time i stepped into the camp.. the dred and everyone tryin to be positive but inside, we really felt like shit.. and how "on" we were.. den as time goes by, bein "on" meant gettin more shit and so everyone slackened.. i guess tis is the worst/best disease ever tat happens in the workplace.. the more hardworkin u are, the more things you get.. tat depends if u are doin wat u love or hate.. itz like, the more shit job u do, the more the shit piles.. but like, if u're doin sumthin u love, the more u do, the better u get and u feel dammmm gooddd.. i guess i love to make mistakes but dun like the unreasonable punishments i could get.. itz like, i'm fuckin doin ppl's job and if i do a mistake, ere goes the weekend.. i mean, i'm okie coverin duties for ppl, esp guard duties.. but after one incident, all i noe is tat i swore i wld never do another person's duty.. i kena cheated la since he told me,albeit mispronouncing it a bit ambiguously.. i heard him say guard 3 but i tink he said guard c.. so ere, i was sodomised but tis fat ass contradictory staff.. he follows by the book, or so he says but he breaks them almost all at once.. same goes for COS duties.. before tat, i didnt mind doin ppl's duties.. but after a few of them gettin fucked for like nothing, or so in the name of "not doin ur duties".. i mean, hell, even encik haf a hard time gettin ppl, wat more the freakin 3rd sergeant, who's like abt 3 rank below?? and to do shit job.. i mean, da la nak get volunteers susah nak mampos, den do shit job which no ones wants to do.. itz the UNWILLING DOING THE UNWANTED.. but i do salute to those who do it.. cos they are really the ones runnin the show here.. and here, i go kudos to my section.. aka the sai kang section and me the sai kang sect commander.. so after almost 10 mth, i realised i have regressed.. i wld rather lock myself up than be seen.. cos the law of arrowin is as follow, if u are unlucky enuf to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, den u're arrowed.. and in order not to be arrowed, it means bein stealthy, offing ur phone or never pickin up any calls.. which den makes encik pissed off.. but hey, either he's pissed at everyone or we're pissed at everyone.. i mean, jus make one person pissed la better than everyone.. so there, inefficiency rules the workplace.. and like, hey of course la we become less efficient.. shldnt the one paid more do more work? esp when the appointment is the same?? i mean, sure, we all have different roles to play when holdin different appointments, but shldnt the same appointment be doin work fairly, esp when they are paid more? so like, sure la, worker and manager get diff pay for diff work commitment.. but wldnt u get pissed if two managers, one lowly paid and the other higher paid, but supposed to the same dang thing.. and the lowly paid does most of the job? of course la efficiency wld drop dramatically unless he has other motivating factor.. and like, the lowly ones always kena the scolding when we are tryin our best not to screw anything up and the higher up screws things up, but ey dun get much of an earful?? okie, so finally i'm pourin up.. i guess it has become a sad workplace.. which is y i cant really wait to leave.. and do sumthin which i might haf to do shit work but in a way, i get experience to be better.. cos we need groundwork to do the topwork i guess.. tats jus me la, let me make mistakes but scolding is fine, cos i will learn from it.. call me the perfectionist who needs to fuck up and a conducive environment, cos it is a learnin process..

sure, i learnt responsibility in the army.. but hey, tis responsibility comes wif a price.. and why does it suck? cos if u sign sumthin out, the thing is tat, u dun even handle most of it and haf to redistribute it out.. den like everyone else dun give a shite abt losing those things.. den if anything is lost, the scapegoat aka the fucker sergeant who dumbly sign things out kena.. which is another main factor for the inefficiency that is omnipresent..

and i dunno y i'm dissectin all that happened in my stay.. but i guess itz nice to let it out a bit..

till the next long post..


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