Sunday, September 17, 2006

lost hope and faith to the real world

learnt a lot durin this month in the army.. and it shatters the love and harmony and trust i have for the world. for the real world here dun reflect this. itz selfish and every man for himself and if u lose sumthin, u go steal it to prevent uirself from bein in trouble.. and everythin goes to preventin urself from bein in trouble.. be it costin sumone else to be in trouble.

i learnt i cant trust no one except those whom i have grown up in school together for the past one year. they are the only ones i shld trust. everyone else is jus out to save their ass and get u in trouble. i learnt how to say no to helpin others cos they will jus burn you. and it happened twice for the past 2 weeks. so i've been burnt. i've been abused and cheated and lied but at least i made my own judgement. my own opinions, and no matter how unfounded it is, it will at least protect me. i learnt we cant leave our own things lyin ard, no matter how stupid we think it is to be stolen. and i shld keep everythin locked, cos everythin is liable to be stolen.

and if i dun trust the person from day one, i really mustn't try to change my opinion of him by helpin him out. esp when ppl tell me the person is a cunning and conniving ass.. but why did i help even when all this is known, itz cos i cld help.. but not anymore!

and i learnt not to give too much leeway for my undercharge. cos it'll mean i'll get my ass whipped.. and the less popular u are, the safer u are from bein ur ass whipped..

i guess this mth, i learnt the worst attitudes i have always strayed from.

hehe.. my bike's goin pretty good.. now goin for prac 5 next week if i dun haf to cancel it.. at least tats sumthin good.. didn't get to see wats her name though.. but oh well.. yest, i managed to do things which i never tot i'll do.. like ask for a gal's no in the bus.. haha.. but got a busted no.. but oh well, at least i tried.. but dam was i nervous to the bone.. lets try it again another time.. i'm sure i'll get better each time.. haha.. okie, so a lil more abt her..

i really dun remember how she looks like.. but all i noe was tat she was wearin red tudung(yes, yes.. sumthin like liz, kind to tink of it, she's as fair as her too) red top and a red bag.. but i remembered her nose was quite sharp.. i managed to sit next to her since it was rather full.. haha.. and sittin beside her was quite a life-changin event.. i dunno, but sittin next to her, i was like really nervous yet a nice feelin enveloped me.. so yea, i told myself, it was now or never.. yea, like at my last stop before i got down.. asked for her no and she asked y.. dun really remembered wat i blabbered but she gave me.. but oh well, itz a bogus one.. sighs.. though she did put her book back into her bag after i got down.. saw her since the bus i took next caught up at the red light.. but oh well, ere's always another day..

so now goin back to camp.. hope ducky's doin okie..


Blogger fred said...

hey :)I know it sometimes seems hard but there are people out there that try very hard to do the right thing they trust everybody and get hurt by it . But heres the secret part to that you know your doing the right thing cos it hurts, like giving up is easy. what I'm trying to say is stay positive and hang in there yes there is lots of bad people out there but you get to choose who you talk to you will some some nice people that wont get you hurt.:) stay happy

9:01 PM  

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