lost hope and faith to the real world

learnt a lot durin this month in the army.. and it shatters the love and harmony and trust i have for the world. for the real world here dun reflect this. itz selfish and every man for himself and if u lose sumthin, u go steal it to prevent uirself from bein in trouble.. and everythin goes to preventin urself from bein in trouble.. be it costin sumone else to be in trouble.

i learnt i cant trust no one except those whom i have grown up in school together for the past one year. they are the only ones i shld trust. everyone else is jus out to save their ass and get u in trouble. i learnt how to say no to helpin others cos they will jus burn you. and it happened twice for the past 2 weeks. so i've been burnt. i've been abused and cheated and lied but at least i made my own judgement. my own opinions, and no matter how unfounded it is, it will at least protect me. i learnt we cant leave our own things lyin ard, no matter how stupid we think it is to be stolen. and i shld keep everythin locked, cos everythin is liable to be stolen.

and if i dun trust the person from day one, i really mustn't try to change my opinion of him by helpin him out. esp when ppl tell me the person is a cunning and conniving ass.. but why did i help even when all this is known, itz cos i cld help.. but not anymore!

and i learnt not to give too much leeway for my undercharge. cos it'll mean i'll get my ass whipped.. and the less popular u are, the safer u are from bein ur ass whipped..

i guess this mth, i learnt the worst attitudes i have always strayed from.

hehe.. my bike's goin pretty good.. now goin for prac 5 next week if i dun haf to cancel it.. at least tats sumthin good.. didn't get to see wats her name though.. but oh well.. yest, i managed to do things which i never tot i'll do.. like ask for a gal's no in the bus.. haha.. but got a busted no.. but oh well, at least i tried.. but dam was i nervous to the bone.. lets try it again another time.. i'm sure i'll get better each time.. haha.. okie, so a lil more abt her..

i really dun remember how she looks like.. but all i noe was tat she was wearin red tudung(yes, yes.. sumthin like liz, kind to tink of it, she's as fair as her too) red top and a red bag.. but i remembered her nose was quite sharp.. i managed to sit next to her since it was rather full.. haha.. and sittin beside her was quite a life-changin event.. i dunno, but sittin next to her, i was like really nervous yet a nice feelin enveloped me.. so yea, i told myself, it was now or never.. yea, like at my last stop before i got down.. asked for her no and she asked y.. dun really remembered wat i blabbered but she gave me.. but oh well, itz a bogus one.. sighs.. though she did put her book back into her bag after i got down.. saw her since the bus i took next caught up at the red light.. but oh well, ere's always another day..

so now goin back to camp.. hope ducky's doin okie..