Sunday, March 27, 2005

my bittersweet teen years

i guess, todae wld be the most fascinating bithday i ever spent... certainly, the rollercoaster in my life... wat a way to start your post teen years...

woke up quite chirpy... dunno y also... den got damn pissed off cos sri came late... met jason boon on the bus to skol... when i was already on my way, sri tells me she's gonna be an hour late... so wasted abt one hour in skol, tryin to kill time by playin chess and stuff on the mac... den started work i guess... guess, after a few hours of work, we became crazy... we were jus laughing and shouting at each other... as usual... i guess, as sri puts it, we jus might be the only grp who shouts at each other jus for the hell of it to laugh out loud... haha... den went to eat at SIM... and went for rehearsals... well, rehearsals was okie i guess... ducky came... she's helpin out too... so quite fun la... den, i dunno, decided to meet k for dinner/early supper... den got abt 7 straight smses from ppl at DYL and who ever was ere... goes to Juan, Ave, Lin, Ben, Hambril, Ros, Joel(i tink tats all)... haha... den got to know they were at raffles place... so went to meet them before meetin k... haha...

oh yea, before i left rehearsals, the peeps at TAPAC were like singing happy birthday song... after ed held onto my hands before i left... so goes out to eddy, fared, affan, ducky, citra, shireen, najib, isham, suf... did i miss out anyone else? after meetin the peeps at raffles place, got another song from them... haha... whee... den went down to meet k... went to eat at lau pa sat... she didnt really want to eat... so oh well, had satay... sent her till her mrt station... ere, we kinda hung ard the station till the announcement told me i had to get my ass on the train before i missed the last train to punggol...

so, in between that, i guess, well... i dunno how to say it... i guess i fall one less than the number of times i get up... well, it wasnt tat bad of a fall... had loads of cushions and paddings to fall on... she broke my heart gently... and i thank her for that... i guess tis was my most gentle fall i ever took... so we're jus friends then... and yea, i do fall easily... but i get up quite well too... and it will pass... tis wld be the last entry before i close my teenage years and another chapter of repetitive history...

and yea, i really dun noe if i'm looking for a serious relationship... i guess i'm not looking.. if it happens, it happens... if not, i'll continue life... but i guess life brings me another path... i got NS to do in a few mths... den might be stayin out in florida for a few years... so, sumtimes, i really dun know... i guess i'll jus go with the flow and take things as it happens...

so, well, we said out goodbyes... i guess it was the best goodbye i ever said... i dunno... it was jus filled with bitter sweetness... never haf i felt happy yet sad at sayin goodbye... well, maybe when my parents left for their pilgrimage... eh no... i was filled more with sadness... though along the train, i only replayed the goodbye... can i say i dun remember any of the words u said, jus the emotional whirlpool i felt... and tat goodbye... lets see how it turns out in the end... well, i guess it will never change how i feel... well, maybe it will... haha... well, i can look back and say, my 20th birthday was a blast!!!

and even though i got no prezzzies... i guess, i did get a great bdae present from ya... i guess how i survive, is tat i cld never remember the negative... cos all tat fills my mind and pushes the negative away is the one positive thing... wer'e still friends... and well, the hug... so 2 things...

and the song tourniquet helped a bit... but i'm okie now... wheee... i still say i had a blast yesterday...

so to everyone, Lin(haf to put u first la eh... for all tat we've been thru), ducky(meetin me durin rehearsals, minus the fact she's supposed to be ere), ave(i dunno wat to say actually), ben(for his guitar playing ability while everyone else sang the bdae song), joel(he gave me a bit of his ice cream), ros & hambril(for bein my fans of the photos i took), juan, fairoz(i tink tats how u spell his name), shireen(for bein my fav SM of all time), citra, najib, eddy, isham, fared, suf(the easily kancheong-ed guy), farah & dayana(who are hardly separated), sri(whom we shout at almost every time we see each other and laugh it out loud), lester, (the sumtimes weird ass guy who joins us), amin(for the prank we pulled on him jus before we left).... and lastly, k... who brought me on a roller coaster ride of my life and lookin foward to more roller coaser rides... as long as she doesnt break any more things... *grins*

and those i may haf forgotten in sum ways... ohhh... wait... and benita(dunno for wat la, but she's been very nice to me all along)... heh... and whom i'll be spending 2 weeks with in cambodia... along wif another 20 other ppl i tink... or was it jus 19? oh well... wheee... so i close my teenagehood....

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