waitin for a heart scan

thursday - 17.2.05

went for my medical check up jus now again... in the end, i jus collected another referal letter to go to alexandra hospital to go for a sumthin called 2-D echo scan i tink... sum deviation thingy abt the heart... haiz... oh well, so tat means, i get deferred for a bit longer cos the appointment is on the 28th of april... oh well, so went home after that to sleep!!! since i lacked it... den woke up to go to NUS for ave's show... met lin at buona vista first... den we boarded the wrong bus(kind of... it brought us to the place... jus tat we had to travel longer...) watched the show... den as i was startin to take pictures, guy from NUS's video and photograpghy committee, kevin, asked if i was coverin the event too and if i'll be stayin longer... oh well, so my pics will go to them too... whee... ate chicken sandwich at tis place at yusoff hall or sumthin like tat... forgot the place's name...

arrggghhh... i guess i will jus be friends wif liza... after monday's incident, i guess, i dunno... if ppl cant get over others first, den no use... arrghhh....

tis dun really speak abt her but in general, if ppl cant get over anythin/anyone yet, and they try to fil up that void with another thing/person, sumwhere along the way, the large void tat was covered will be converted to pain... intense unadulterated pain... one day or the other... i dunno... i guess for me, sure, i do tat all the time... but the main thing was that nuthin intense was felt because nothin intense was shared in the first place... so sum exceptions here...

i dunno, i guess my title for todae is quite apt... both literally and metaphorically... i guess i need to do a heart scan... even if itz the 2D echo... learn how the heart works... or at least how my heart works... i'm sure i'll see loads of gaps and torn pieces, sum chewed up but not tearin yet... yet, ever healing, ever pumping blood through the veins... ever pumping love through the body...